I hate my neighbor's dog. He is an old, dusty looking, almost dead dog. I'm guessing by appearance he is about 150 in human years. My husband and I discuss that dog at least once a week. The dog has gotten to the point where he crap's like a horse now and turds just fall out of him on the road as he slowly walks by. Squatting to take a dump is no longer needed since the muscle's that hold everything in have all but given up.
I know... I am a terrible person for not liking that dusty, half dead dog. I should feel bad for the poor old geezer. Here is the reason I don't...the dog barks ALL day long. When the owner's leave they put him out on a chain and I am stuck sitting here listening to him go bark, wait a minute, bark, wait a minute,bark, wait a minute,bark,wait a minute, bark, wait a minute,bark....a solid steady bitch bark that could make me start drinking during the day if I had the funds to support it.
I realize it isn't the dogs fault. He is just upset because he is 150 human years old, can't see out of one eye anymore and turds just fall out as he walks around.
It's his owner's fault...they leave him and don't care that he barks all day because they aren't home to listen to him bitch about his old miserable life. If I spoke dog I am sure he is calling them dirty names all day. That is the one thing I have in common with the dusty, old, half dead dog.
I don't want any animal lover's to write me telling me how horrible I am because I don't like this dusty dog. I have kids but that doesn't mean I love every kid that walks the earth. I have Cosmo the superdog but that doesn't mean I have to like this half dead dog.
I can not so fondly recall a time when Logan was a baby and we all lived in a home that didn't have a basement. The tornado whistle went off 4 times that night and I loaded up my 3 kids PLUS 2 HAMSTER'S to go uptown to the storm shelter. I stood there each time holding my baby (who weighed a ton) in a car seat up and out of the mouth's of all the animals the people had brought up with them. Anyone who has held a baby in a car seat for very long appreciates that gravity is a bitch and babies are heavy. The 4th time the whistle went off I had just gotten home in a pouring rain with my 3 kids and 2 hamster's. I stood sopping wet inside my door as it began to blair and walked straight into my bedroom , opening the door to my interior closet and jamming all 3 kids and the 2 stupid hamster's inside. I was to tired to haul us back uptown to stand with a doberman pincher eyeing my son as it's next meal.
So back to the dead dog. I guess I should be a little bit thankful to him because he annoys me so bad I actually leave the house and find stuff to do. Take yesterday for instance...I had put off getting groceries for 2 weeks. I mean we had some peanut butter and 4 slices of bread left. What's the big deal? Dusty dog started his non stop barking and I found myself staring out the window at him. Thinking about giving him a sweet drink of yummy antifreeze when I changed my mind..grabbed my purse and went and got groceries. By the time I got home and put everything away the half dead dog's owner's had returned home to save dusty dog from yet another close brush with death. None the wiser.
Today the sun is shining, dusty dog's owner's are home and he is inside his warm house doing whatever a half dead dog does at 8 am in the morning....*sigh*...hopefully he isn't following this blog.
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