Fight like a girl

I have a weird boob.
 Just one is kind of odd. It has never played by the rules and for whatever reason I can't decide if it is an oddball or a rebel that wants to stand out in the crowd. Years ago I had to have a lymph node removed from that arm pit. It had gotten all weird , feverish, hard and ill so the doc took it out. I was in my early 30's at the time. It came back as noncancerous so I went about my business and pushed it into my memory bank.
I had my son in Oct of 99 and that same boob decided to get an awful case of mastitis which if you haven't ever had it count your lucky star's. It is a breast infection that usually occurs in women who are breastfeeding. The doctor puts you on antibiotic's and they recommend that you continue breast feeding. UGH! Nobody wants to do anything with a boob that is feverish, throbbing, aching, mess with a hard infected spot that feels like it is going to explode except wish it wasn't on their body. I did not continue breast feeding but did pump until that poor, sad, boob got well. It was so ill I almost sent it flowers.
I did notice that even after it was well it was not the same. It appeared the same but it never felt the same so I have since named it my weird boob. I am not going to tell you which boob it is to stop you from staring at it when I see you at Fareway or Casey's pumping gas. You will just have to glance and then discuss it with yourself later. " I don't know ..the left boob looks a bit more perky. Ha ha...jokes on you because perky is not in any of my 47 year old boobs description.
My daughter is 24 and one of her best friends was diagnosed with breast cancer. She recently had surgery and her breasts removed. There was no cancer found in the lymph nodes which was a huge relief to everyone but the cancer she had is an aggressive little bastard which is never good. It will be long road for her and sadly cancer doesn't give a shit that she has a 13 year old boy just like mine. She will start chemo in Nov. ...SHE is the reason I am talking about weird boob.
She got me thinking about my weird boob and I have to admit I do not do self exam's like I should. I think self exam's should be taught to junior high boys who would love nothing more then to feel that fake boob they hand around the gym class for all the girls to feel...anyway.... I know...then they wouldn't be called self exam's but let's be real here. I do not touch my weird boob as much as my husband does. (If my girls are reading this...Scott does not ever touch my breasts!) Anyway...If he knew what to watch for he could let me know. "Hey, Weird boob is acting up again!"
I actually took the time to check weird boob this month which is weird because October is breast cancer awareness month and I found something that felt well...weird. Can I say that I was actually not shocked? I felt around for a long time and decided it was time to go get them ironed by a professional and see what happens. I booked an appt. for a mammogram and went in on Oct 5th.
 I was calm and even though I had told myself I wasn't gonna tell Captain Cool (my husband) I did mention it in passing. I didn't say anymore because I see no need to alarm people without information. He didn't ask anymore and since it is breast cancer awareness month it didn't set off any red flags...even though my last mammogram was 6 years ago. I know...I'm a loser and I suck! I have no good excuse either I just suck!
So I went in for the ironing and Sara got me all set up. She ironed them from all directions and I tried to joke a bit with her but she must of forgot her sense of humor at home that day.: (
 As I pulled the weird boob loose from the mammogram machine I listened to the odd worn out Velcro sound it made as it released. I remember thinking how magical these things are by the way they bounce back after being smashed. I was busy thinking how lucky I am that they snap back and I  that I won't have to drive down to the local gas station to put air in them or roll them up like a fruit roll up when I heard Sara explaining that I will get a letter in the mail with my results. The pit in my stomach told me I wouldn't get a letter...
Today Sara called me to set up an appt. to have more images taken. I was calm on the phone as she explained that the radiologist that read the slides would like to me to come to his hospital to take some more images....I am scheduled for Oct 30th. I have decided not to say anything to my family until I have something to say.
I couldn't keep it a secret from Captain Cool and so now we both can worry together. To people pretending to be happy and not worried is better then one.
Today I went and had another smashing...the pit in my stomach didn't show up until the smasher said she was going to take some extra pictures of weird boob. I felt sick and kept telling myself to calm down.
I was lucky enough to have my films read today by a radiologist and he said that weird boob is just fine....the Double Decker smashing they did today took away the white spot that was of concern on the films and cancer won't do that.
My husband and I ate a fattening meal from Hardee's today and as I drove home I kept telling myself how lucky I am that I still have this stupid boob to make fun of and call weird. that I don't have a fight of my life ahead of me.
So to all my friends..feel yourself up tonight and make sure those sweater puppies are healthy.
To Crystal Summer's : You have impacted more lives then you know and we are all in your corner Honey...if ya need a woman with a weird boob to drive ya to chemo, clean your house, do your grocery shopping ..whatever...I'm here for ya.