Spam does not always come from a can.

I recently took the time to look at my spam file in my email. Curious what kind of crap I was being sent by whom. I was bragging to Scott about my spam being Identity theft stuff, becoming an ADT authorized dealer, lower my mortgage, or the laser spine institute! Seemingly normal spam for a normal person.Yes, I said normal.
Eventually I got down in the list and the spam became get the Bosley Hair Restoration. HUH? Obviously this person has no clue who I am and has never seen my heavy, thick hair that gives me migraines from a sad pipe-cleaner neck that doesn't always agree with holding that mop up.
Then there is some guy named Lionel Bruce that wants to make sure I achieve the perfect possibilities in bed. Unfortunately I don't think a guy with 2 first names (Lionel Bruce) is gonna teach me anything I don't already know.
Next is the lovely married but lonely.com where I can meet cheating wives locally. Hmmmmm unless those skank's want to clean the oven, scrub the bathroom floor or dust I am not really interested plus they would probably want to use my restroom and I am thinking that is a definite no-no.
The lasik institute wants to give me a holiday special which really kinda bugs me since I don't even own a pair of glasses. I do however think that my web cam is bugged since I was just discussing moving our microwave in our dining room closer to the couch in the living room since the number's have recently become blurry on the damn thing and I can't read the clock anymore from where I sit.
Lifecell wants to take years off my face with it's magic anti-aging crap and they must of been talking to Model secrets because they too have shocking wrinkle research revealed! People better watch out because I am gonna be a baby faced beauty with a 47 year old body. That should be a real eye opener.
Education hub wants me to earn my nursing degree. I am guessing no one from the laser spine center (see line 3 above) has told them I blew my back out a few years ago. Maybe I should forward education hub's email to them to stop all the confusion.
The credit card match.com has a credit card just for me which is really nice of them since I haven't held a job  in over 2 years. Some company's just know you are a good person. I am considering their offer so I can stop by premier care in bathing and check out the walk in tub that is just right for me! Not for you...Me!

Last but not least is the ultimate wines shop that has a Full-bodied & Pure 98pt Single Vineyard Brunello On Sale!  Woohoo.....I don't really know what that is because I am not a wine drinker but it looks like it is super cool since it changed my font color on it's own! 
Spam is far more exciting when it's on a computer versus's in a pan.